I trust no one. Absolutely no one. At least no man anyway.
I haven't met one man, since him, that I wasn't suspicious of or afraid of. Starting to like someone. So, of course, immediately a panic attack ensues.
I want this all to go away. I want everything left of him that's inside of me gone. I don't want to remember his face. He's ruined my life and my chances.
And of course we were going to skype but he fell asleep on me. Sounds familiar. I want this to stop, this constant nagging in my brain that reminds me of what I've seen and been through, that starts to scream at the slightest warning. It's enough to make me want to press my hands over my ears to try to block it out, but it will never work, and I'm afraid that if I do block it out I'll end up letting someone hurt me again.
And the worst, the WORST, is that HE feels no guilt for this. I'm not crazy. I'm not. I'm not.
