I Just Can't Get Enough

Had a super epic weekend with the best friend. Went to see the Woman in Black with D-Rad. Spent half the movie drooling over said man, the other half screaming in terror. Still slightly afraid.

It's five am. I wanted to go to bed but I had so much to do. Luckily I got my second wind. Now I kind of don't want to go to sleep but I know I should. I've gotten a lot done. Less than I wanted, but enough to not feel awful. I didn't study, though. I only have one day left after tonight. I still need to go through the notes online and fill out my two page study guide.

Three paintings to finish in two days as well. At least one webpage to design by Friday at the latest. Chapters to read in The Odyssey, a project to redesign, prints to make for printmaking. Jobs to apply for, an apartment resident replacement to find, a job to go to....life is rough.

I've lost between 3 and 5 pounds on my diet. Which is awesome. Except I want to lose more and I wish I would lose it faster. The problem is, that requires eating less tasty foods. In the words of one of my favorite boys, "Sucks to suck." Whatever that means.

I'll Be Your Prisoner

Retrograde Motion

She's a retrograde motion,
Mars pushing back in its path.
A quiet, lonely room
Filled with nothing to do.

Head tilted back on the bed,
Eyes blank and wide.
Hoping for the hopeless,
Impossible completion.

Beautiful drug, sadistic lover,
Where are you tonight?
You're a retrograde motion,
Mars pushing back in its path.

I Found A Way

I feel so trapped.

I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to be lonely. But no one else really makes me happy. I feel like I can't win.

So I have to sit back, watch while he has a good time. And know that even if I try, I won't.

It's all just pointless.

Do I have to be so resigned? It seems there's no other option. There's no option except for me to be sad and hurt. Waiting. Waiting for him, or waiting to finally move on. Both could take some time.