Friday we went to dinner at the Honda dealership because I suppose the people there know the people at my office, and they had ordered some food buffet style and invited us. I talked more with the other graphic designer there, Nic, and found out we had a LOT in common. We're basically twins. We even have the same birthday. But he didn't like Harry Potter was the only thing. Then we were having issues with the computers because of some electricity flickers, and poor Stephanie got stuck in the elevator the second time in two days. Dean, our boss, called us out for a "meeting," but then just put a sign up on the elevator that said "Stephanie's Place." It was kinda sorta funny. It would suck tho, for real. I took the stairs when we got off work. And they were crazy! The stairs ran right into a door, you went through it, and they picked right back up again. It's like someone walked up a flight of stairs and decided to put a doorway directly in the middle of it. Then I went to a bar and grill, Leon's, with my stepdad of all things. While we were there we discovered he knew the band playing that night, so we went to the back and watched. He bought me drinks too, and I went home a bit tipsy. Even my mom showed up, and I was hanging out with the band and all their friends and family. It was so odd...
Then on Saturday I went to Defensive Driving. A lot of drama...one woman ended up crying because she called someone to complain to them for giving her insufficient information. Apparently he was rude to her and she made a huge deal about it. It baffles me how immature some people can be that are twice my age. "You can be sure I'm going to tell all my facebook friends about this!" Um....really, lady? But other than that it was actually kind of fun. It was more talking and eating than working. It was held at Ryan's buffet, and the lunch was included in the fee. THEN Dustin showed up in the middle of my nap once I got home to bring me some graduation gifts, a Harry Potter cookbook and a huge wall decal of Harry Potter. Yeah, he gets me. He stayed for a long time, so long that I didn't get my nap, and I had to go right to bed instead of staying up late like I wanted to. So I won't get a late night like I like this weekend. It's off to work tomorrow. But it was all a great time.
Rock bottom is a beautiful start, rise up to show the world your scars
with friendship; it doesn't matter
how long you've known each other,
or how many fights you got into.
what matters is who said
"i'll be here for you" and proved it.
Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to
someone who only hurts you, even if you can't breathe
without them
you're just so fucked up in the head, you cant be alone, you always
need someone, you lead them on, you make them think that you really
love them, you suck up all their emotions, then when something better
comes along, you leave them there on the floor, gasping for air.
People are going to disappoint you, I get that, I expect that. But what if one day you wake up and realize you're the disappointment
I am what I am,
and I know what I'm not
The first step towards getting somewhere,
is to decide that you are not staying where you are
"Have you ever been depressed for seriously no reason? You just don’t feel up for anything. You don’t want to see anyone or do anything. You just want to lie in bed and disappear and you have no reason why."
We stopped checking for monsters under our beds
because we realized they were inside us.
"I think I am broken.
It was stress, and maybe some drugs too. Definitely drugs.
I found a new group of....lets call them friends. I don't believe in people. I'll call them friends now, and even though I tell myself I have no expectations, I will be sad when they abandon me for something or someone new, a shinier star than myself. I will never know why they like me. I don't think I'm anything special. I always feel like a blank slate. Draw on me, I will stay quiet and absorb the ink, the drugs, the media you introduce me too. Perhaps, if I am lucky, I will have something to contribute that's worth a nod or laugh.
I am awake at five am. alone with my darkest secrets.
I like the drugs too much. They make my veins tingle with raw energy. They take my hunger away. They make me smile more.
I like you too much. Very much, too much. To admit to it would mean losing everything. friends, home, family, work, significant other, and you. And still, I fantasise about destroying myself on you. I don't think you feel the same. It's better that way.
I don't believe in together forever fairy tales. The word god holds no sway over my heart. What can I do? You forgave me twice, how long until you realize I'm a monster? I feel myself falling apart as I push boundaries of what is ok and what is not.
I can't stop smoking. You keep begging me. I must be heartless.
I am weak and have no will.
I am broken, and so is everyone else. How do we forgive each other? How do we forgive ourselves?" ^^^ I don't see myself saying this, but I can see someone I used to know very, very well saying it to me.
If you can't fly, then run. If you can't run, then walk. If you can't walk, then crawl. Do whatever you have to do to keep moving forward
Don't say you love somebody and then change your mind. Love isn't like picking what movie you want to watch
No love is the same, no love is identical. We all experience love in different ways. We all feel it in our hearts differently. We interpret love in so many ways that it's impossible to have one definition of love. All I know about love is it's an emotion. To me, love is a feeling that starts a riot in your heart until you want to scream. You want to show the world this love. You want to prove to everyone all that you are with love. To me, love changes people, not always for the better though. To me, love is special. We should cherish love. To me, love will never be fully explained
Love is handing someone a gun and letting them point it at your head and believing that they won't pull the trigger
- Spongebob Squarepants
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